Phlegmatic and Lovelorn
by Paranoid Crack Abuser
Summary: Seriously, who ever heard of a sickness because you want love? It wasn't like there were any symptoms, or a diagnosis, or anything of the sort. 'Lovesick', by definition, is actually just a term for people to define stupidity in their shows of affection.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is succesful, so SEGA is among those that are not mine.

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><p>Phlegmatic and Lovelorn<p>

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><p><strong>Lovesick<strong>: _adj. when one person is unable to think about anything except the person he or she loves, especially when that person does return said love, and remotely languishing with love, and in deep infatuation._

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><p>"That… is so stupid."<p>

The pink hedgehog deformed inquisitiveness into irritation as it beamed at him in tagging bombers. Normally, her dark companion didn't usually answer, but the compulsion to do so had been massive and consuming, and it was this time that he did not deny. Whereas normalcy would bring one to marvel that he had even responded, the simple-minded pink hedgehog reacted with annoyance, and again displaying her stupidity – yelled at him with lack of any discomfort or trepidation. "No it's not! It's sweet!"

His chest jutted in a huff as he shifted slightly, settling his position against the softly thick tree bark. With lethargy glazing his eyes, he detachedly watched as she ranted on about her side of the debate, her optimism and undying, sheer faith in her testimony leading her relentless tirade.

"It's great how lovesick they are over each other."

_Lovesick_ – how… stupid. Idiotic, irrational, foolish, and so on. So drunk on affection that one partner 'aches' to be with the other and can't stop thinking about the other and 'yearning' and dumb stuff like that.

It was so stupid! Geniuses like Tails became utterly _mindless_ and did stupid things like go on and on about how wonderful Cream is and wasted a whole hour of his life doing so, getting sweet little sentiments to make her smile and then waste another hour talking about her smile, and basically wasting the rest of his life talking and doing things for the 'apple of his eye'. He practically traded intellect for the ability to proclaim terrible pick-up lines to an oblivious rabbit.

Amy said he did these idiotic things because being lovesick meant having to think about the person you love – _all the time_, and basically make your world revolve around them and becoming a total sobbing suicidal mess when one is felled from their sugar high.

…stupid.

Of course, Amy was among the brainless idiots, and he made that conclusion upon being notified that she was 'lovesick' for Sonic.

Seriously, who ever heard of a sickness because you want love? It wasn't like there were any symptoms, or reactions, or anything of a sort. 'Lovesick', by definition, is actually just a term for people to define their stupidity in their shows of affection.

_Sick of love_… **that** was something natural – not that whole 'lovesick' nonsense.

"Honestly, Shadow, you're so pessimistic that it's frightening. How can a being be sick of love?" She scolded, eyes a green and ablaze.

"The same way you can be sick for affection. It's utterly…" He knew this would send her mad, but even he felt the mischievous desire make someone mad, and he knew that the next little word would send her red and furious, but he just couldn't-!

"It's utterly… _pathetic_." And the world froze for a moment, just a moment, in order to allow the new adjustments to the air seep in as the transformation took place.

Amy Rose could take an insult, she really could. Foolish, stupid, annoying – she'd heart it far too many times, but she couldn't stand – _**absolutely couldn't stand**_ – someone calling her _pathetic_.

Amy Rose was _**not**_ pathetic.

Shadow felt the stirrings in the air, the ones that whispered dread into his gut, and whereas Shadow expected her to blow up, to get mad, maybe even pull out her hammer; she did something else entirely.

Clutching his fur beneath her coiling fingers, she rapidly crashed her lips into his, taking pride in the way his eyes widened into plates and the breath she took from him. It seemed he was as nascent to this as she was, and that didn't stop her, and she knew without a doubt that she had just insinuated a new desire – in both herself and in him. He would be too curious, he'd _have_ to try this again, and she felt triumph reign within her, as mighty as her hammer, and she smiled against his surprisingly soft mouth. Pulling away just as fast, she gave him the most evil, teasing, and promising smirk she could, "If being lovesick is being pathetic, then we'll just see how pathetic you'll be, by the time you're so lovesick over me."

His mouth was agape, and she giggled, skipping away from him merrily, and with a pledge to the skies and all those who heard, she vowed, "I promise you, Shadow the Hedgehog, _you will be pathetic_!"

And Amy set out on her new goal in life: to make Shadow stupid, or in other words, lovesick.

And Shadow was very, very frightened, because he knew she would stop at nothing and because she… she…!

He knew that he just might end up as one of them.

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><p>Short and… yeah. Random!<p>

~Paranoid Crack Abuser!


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